What to Do if You’re Carried Away By a Vulture

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

thatsbelievable:

STEP ONE
Hope the vulture doesn’t grab you by the seat of your pants.

STEP TWO
Vultures will ALWAYS grab you by the seat of your pants, so this hope is tragically misplaced. Move immediately to Step Three.

STEP THREE
Just “go with it.”

STEP FOUR
When the vulture drops you in its nest, and attempts to feed you to its young, politely but firmly refuse to be eaten.

STEP FIVE
This will not work.

STEP SIX
I’m afraid you’re all out of steps.

I tried all these steps and they worked exactly as promised